Wednesday, July 4, 2012

A Lot of Small Pieces of Paper (& Eggplant)

This post hopes to achieve two goals: 1) clear the backlog of cookie inserts people have sent me; and 2) encourage you to check back this weekend, when my friend Cristina will guest blog for the third time - a Not-a-Fortune record. Here are Cristina's first two posts: Elephant Kissing & Defying the Stars (2010) and Revisiting Elephant Kissing (2011). They are both compelling, emotional reads.


Since my last post, I visited Peter Chang's China Grill. Calvin Trillin profiled the chef/owner in this 2010 New Yorker piece. I tried the dry-fried eggplant, one of the most popular appetizers:
It was spicy and flavorful, and, as the photo depicts, a meal all by itself. Peter Chang's food is meant to be shared.


I ate there on a Friday night, alone, after leaving work and driving around for over an hour. I couldn't decide where I wanted to eat dinner, had trouble finding parking downtown, and then got a little bit lost, at which point I texted a friend, "I got lost and ended up at the jail," (true story, though a more accurate text might have read "I'm driving past the jail"). My next text: "And now I'm at a graveyard. I wish I was kidding." It finally occurred to me that I should just go to Peter Chang's, even though it was in the opposite direction and near my office, which meant that I could have saved myself an hour of driving had I thought of it earlier. I was so hungry (and thirsty) when I got there and then so satisfied when I left that it didn't occur to me until later that they don't even have fortune cookies. #fortunecookiebloggerfail


I did leave with a small piece of paper that had letters and numbers on it and now I can't go back there unaccompanied, but that's a post for another kind of blog. Really this story is just a long-winded, fortune cookie-less way of saying I shouldn't be left alone on a Friday night. Or ever. It's also a reminder about the dangers of not having a food plan. ALWAYS HAVE A FOOD PLAN.


My co-worker and new friend Jane (a digital media rockstar- check out her site here) tried Ni Hao, where they do offer fortune cookies:
"April showers, brings May flowers."
"A healthy mind, is a healthy body."


As Jane noted when she shared the "extremely disappointing" not-a-fortunes with me, the comma usage is interesting. Did you know commas belong between the subjects and verbs?


At the end of the quarter, my good friend Amy's company catered lunch from P.F. Chang's (it was a big ruse to keep those worker bees at their desks for an extra hour). Given the context, isn't this fortune appropriate?
"Advancement will come with hard work. Many new friends will soon be attracted to your friendly and charming ways."


My childhood best friend sent this proverbial not-a-fortune:
"A wise lumberjack always has a sharp saw."


Wise words indeed.


Hippiechick's co-worker's joke that she gets the worst not-a-fortunes, this one included:
"You are not illiterate."


Don't you just love a cookie insert that insults your intelligence? #sensethesarcasm


My friend V sent me this not-a-fortune (thanks, V, as if I needed another reason to miss you and Austin!):
"Only love lets us see normal things in an extraordinary way."


Maybe by "extraordinary" they mean "inaccurate" or "ridiculous."


Finally, here are three cookie inserts from a childhood friend of mine (I last wrote about him here):
 "Show your true face to the people who really matter."


 "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."


"Failure is the Mother of Success."
(And apparently Mother and Success are people, judging by the capitalization. Oh, wait, did I just judge Mother and Success? Does that mean I have no time to love them?)


A big THANK YOU to everyone whose cookie inserts appear in this post. I love that you think to share your fortunes and not-a-fortunes with me.

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