Friday, January 28, 2011

"In Bed" Indeed!

"You will inherit an unexpected sum of money within the year."

Not-a-Fortune's good friend Myrtle was in bed last night, reading a book, sipping on some hot tea, when she decided to snack on the fortune cookie that came with her takeout. Not only did she get an actual fortune, but she got one in bed. (LT should like that.) Given the fortune itself, Myrtle's considering taking her chances on the lottery.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Another Blog About Fortune Cookies

Myrtle sent me this link, which is a notification from author Jennifer 8. Lee's website that writer Matt Kelsey is going to spend an entire year following the advice of fortune cookies and playing the lottery using the numbers printed on their inserts. You can follow him along on this adventure at My Daily Fortune. I'm going to contact him and see if he'd like to guest post over here on Not-a-Fortune...

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Fortune Half Full?

"Be prepared to modify your plan. It'll be good for you!"

It's been an uneventful few days, fortune cookie-wise, so I don't have much to report. However, my friend Erin over at Pardon My Dust has been under the weather and employed some sichuan chicken in an effort to clear her sinuses last week. She received this cookie insert, half not-a-fortune, half fortune.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Recent Reader Contributions: Excitement, Ambiguity, & Examples

My mom and a friend had lunch at my family's favorite San Antonio Chinese restaurant and saved their cookie inserts for inclusion here. 
My mom's: "An unexpected event will soon make your life more exciting." 
Her friend's: "Someone is speaking well of you at this very moment!" 
Though my mother received an actual fortune and her friend did not, I find its message unnerving. An unexpected event that brings excitement does not necessarily portend good news. 

An entry from Not-a-Fortune's favorite betrothed couple is similarly ambiguous. Audriella received this not-a-fortune after a recent visit to P.F. Chang's:
"Live, think and act for today. Tomorrow may be too late."

This could be read as inspirational OR foreboding. All three of us read death into it, if that gives you any indication of where we stand in the glass half full v. glass half empty debate.

Mr. Jones's cookie delivered an actual fortune, and an unambiguous one at that:
"Your example will inspire others."

As always, Not-a-Fortune appreciates the contributions.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Love+Martha Stewart=DIY Fortune Cookies?

True story. Valentine's Day may be weeks away but step into any retail store and you'd think it's tomorrow. In preparation for the Hallmark holiday florists hate to love and those in the service industry just plain hate, Not-a-Fortune brings you these DIY pink and red felt fortune cookies, courtesy of the one and only Martha Stewart.
(btw, do you recognize this photo, which appears in the Martha DIY Valentine's Day Crafts slideshow?)

If you'd like to make these fortune cookies (#23) for your Valentine, follow this link for the instructions. Of course, you'll also need to make your own cookie inserts, and you get to decide whether they'll be fortunes or not.

Martha Stewart offers forty-nine DIY Valentine's Day Crafts in this particular post. I'm partial to this pistachio wreath (#15, in case anyone wants to make me something):

My niece alerted me to Martha's Valentine's Day fortune cookies last Wednesday. I received this not-a-fortune the next day:
"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."

I was going to hold off on posting the crafts until a later date, but a not-a-fortune like that was too compelling. Even someone as cynical as I am has to acknowledge fortuitous timing.

Friday, January 14, 2011

But Don't Look Directly At The Sun...

Mr. Fabulous texted me his Friday night fortune, received somewhere in Denver, Colorado:

"Focus in on the color yellow tomorrow for good luck!"

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I Like Gifts, Too

My friend Abbey brought my attention to these wine totes, both fortune-bearing and not. She thinks they would make cute gift bags (with wine, of course) from me to other people. I think the exact opposite would be appropriate...

To purchase, follow this link.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Most Ridiculous Fortune Cookie "Fortunes" of All Time?

I've mentioned before that one of my favorite things about this blog is its reader contributions. Yesterday, two of my Twitter friends alerted me to a feature the Huffington Post is running: "The Most Ridiculous Fortune Cookie Fortunes of All Time." Most of the photos in the HuffPo slideshow are not-a-fortunes, and when you visit the link above you can rate and comment on the individual cookie inserts. Here is a sampling of what they consider the most ridiculous:

"Hi, my name is Bob, and I'm from California, and we brought the world fortune cookies!"

"Real fortune is being heard. US Census."

"You are almost at the top. That means you have further to fall."

"Ignore previous cookie."

"You are a lover of words, someday you should write a book."

"You are not illiterate."

"Could I get some directions? ('To where?') To your heart."

"Come back later...I am sleeping. (yes, cookies need their sleep, too)"

Monday, January 10, 2011

Undisclosed Discontent

"Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation."

This not-a-fortune was shared with me by a former colleague "from an undisclosed location." I'm trying to reconcile the double smiley face with the sentiment of discontent...

Thursday, January 6, 2011

I Love It When They Come True

In the post where I chronicled my holiday fun, I noted the fortune I received at lunch with my parents:
"You will be reunited with old friends before the month is out."
It came true!
Back in August of 2010 I blogged about a childhood friend of mine who is now a big, bad (in the good way) Marine who often shares his and his family's cookie inserts with me. He lives in North Carolina but spent some time in Texas over the holidays visiting family and friends- including me- yay! Having recently celebrated his wife's birthday at an Asian restaurant and in anticipation of our reunion, he saved as many cookie inserts as he could. (A man after my own heart.) He also - drum roll, please - saved the extra fortune cookies for me. (A man after my own stomach?) And that is how I came to have three fortune cookies in my purse when Erin and I were at Apothecary the other night.

Thanks for making time to see me, JMac!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Apothecary Nights

Hanging out with my girl Erin at our favorite haunt Apothecary the other night, the topic of fortunes and fortune cookies came up. I happened to have three fortune cookies in my purse (more on that later), so we opened them. Only one contained an actual fortune:

"You have a heart of gold."
"Hear with your ears but listen with your heart."
"You will be surrounded by things of luxury."

Let me explain the bottle caps in the photo. I wanted Magic Hat because, as I've blogged about before, Magic Hat bottles include not-a-fortunes on the caps. But K-Dub wanted to serve me Stellas with his interpretations of not-a-fortunes instead: "U Dumb" and "Girl U Fine." (Thanks for playing, K-Dub, Erin, @niraj26, and Papa C.)

Today, Erin and I returned to Apothecary along with our friend K-Felts for a lovely New Year's brunch. When the mimosas were drank and the quiche, curried deviled eggs, prosciutto macaroni and cheese, and creole potato hash was consumed, I finally got the Magic Hat I wanted all week, courtesy of Michael. Under the cap?
"velociraptors never knock on doors"

happy new year!

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