Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Meet the Princess...and Read His Fortune

Readers, please allow me to introduce you to Princess Quite-A-Lot. Perhaps you remember his hetero life partner (HLP), Mr. Fabulous:


Princess Quite-A-Lot has made one previous appearance on this blog (or rather his fortune - and his hand holding it - has) but since he wasn't pictured I merely referred to him as Bea Dazzler's husband. While that is accurate, I now have art. Without further ado, meet Princess Quite-A-Lot:


Princess Quite-A-Lot and Bea Dazzler must have enjoyed some Chinese food together recently because they both sent me their actual fortunes at the same time. His royal highness's fortune:
"You are about to receive a big compliment."
(To which I responded, "You are so sweet and thoughtful to share your fortune with me." This prompted The Princess to note, "Wow, fortune cookies are SO true!!!")

Bea Dazzler's fortune:


"You will be honored with a prestigious prize or reward."
(You will recall that Bea Dazzler requires her cookie inserts to include her lucky number on the back in order for her to invest any belief in their maxims - fortunes or not. Good news, readers: this little slip of paper was a winner! Bea Dazzler guessed that she might win an Oscar. If she does, I hope she takes me as her date. I clean up well. And I bet Princess Quite-A-Lot would let me borrow his tiara. Just sayin'.)

Thanks for sharing your fortunes, Bea Dazzler and Princess Quite-A-Lot. You are an amazing couple who will soon make fantastic parents. I look forward to meeting and celebrating your new addition.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Weekend Update

I'm beginning this weekend update with a found not-a-fortune from the world of my friend Abbey, whose last contribution can be found here. As you would know if you read her blog, Abbey's husband is scheduled to return from Iraq for two whole weeks (!) and she is all kinds of excited. While cleaning in preparation for his visit, she found a not-a-fortune that read,

"Prepare today for the demands of tomorrow."

With three kids and a new puppy, I know Abbey has a lot on her plate. So when she said finding this made her smile, I told her that sometimes those little pieces of paper make a lot of sense.  

My dear friend and now neighbor Hester* also received a not-a-fortune that made a lot of sense to me, especially given the fact that she was dining at a mall food court at the time:

"Treat yourself to something of quality."

That's my kind of not-a-fortune!

In an odd coincidence earlier this week, Bea Dazzler and I were enjoying Chinese food at the same time but in different cities. She sent me this photo of her not-a-fortune:
"Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level."

You may recall that Bea Dazzler doesn't buy into a cookie insert (fortune or not) unless her lucky number is included on the back. Alas, on this one it was not. 

*Pseudynom

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Fortunate Lunch(es)

My father picked me up from the airport today and we headed directly to our favorite San Antonio, Texas, Chinese restaurant - Hung Fong. We each ordered our usual: Chicken Chow Mein for him; Lemon Chicken and Wonton Soup for me. Our fortune cookies revealed actual fortunes:

"Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows." (His- perfect for a lifelong pessimist!)

"You'll accomplish more if you start now." (Mine- on which my father commented, "Good! You probably will." Hmph, says the procrastinator.)

In related news, my mother was dining at the same restaurant at the same time, though not with us (how rude!). She was there for a retirement luncheon (not in her honor). Here are three actual fortunes she and her friends saved for me:

"Your deeds today will be your memories tomorrow."

"Your luck is about to change." (My mother's - she wonders if this means that her luck has been good but is about to turn bad or vice versa.)

"You will live a long life and eat many fortune cookies." (This is the fortune of the retiree; while I always appreciate the humor in food-related fortunes and not-a-fortunes, I think the first half of this one is especially good as she is heading into retirement.)

Friday, August 13, 2010

Friday's Fortunes & Not-a-Fortunes

Taking a cue from my friend j over at Zebra Sounds, I've decided to take advantage of the day and do a "Friday's Fortunes and Not-a-Fortunes" post. 

This is a photo of the Neely's Fortune Cookie Sundae. My friend D (who blogs about reality tv, fleshmobiles, and all things ridiculous here) sent me the link to this recipe. I haven't tried it yet but it looks like a great idea for leftover fortune cookies.

A childhood friend of mine who is now a big, scary Marine sent me these cookie inserts:

A friend of his who will soon be discharged received this fortune:
"You are soon going to change your present line of work."
My friend's five-year-old son's fortune read,
"You have an important new business development shaping up."
And finally, my friend's not-a-fortune:
"You have an active mind and a keen imagination."
[Note: although this is not an actual fortune, it is true. Follow this link to become a fan of his party table-making business.]


"Your talents will bring you the highest status and prestige."
This was my niece's fortune, which she quickly deemed (and I agreed) "Best. Fortune. Ever." Her husband also received a fortune:

"You will inherit an unexpected sum of money within the year."
At first glance, this looks like an exciting fortune. However, without a specific dollar amount I much prefer my niece's fortune to this one. $5? No, thanks.

I'll round up this Friday post with fortune cookie inserts shared with me by three of my favorite twitter friends. With its focus on the necessity of books in one's life, Hippiechick's not-a-fortune has a special place in my heart:
"A house without books is like a room without windows."


At work one day, my favorite Iowan grabbed a fortune cookie and received this fortune:
"Luck will visit you on the next new moon."
[September 8th, 2010]

CleverTitleTK wants to know if her fortune is "a euphemism for 'You're going to die'?"
"You will soon be crossing the great waters."


Thoughts?

Sunday, August 8, 2010

I've Got Some Time To Kill Here in the Airport...

"You are strongly goal-directed."

A very good childhood friend of mind sent me this fortune cookie insert while on a recent vacation to Chicago. While it is true for both of us, it is decidedly not a fortune.

Our good friend Blonde Birdie received an actual fortune:
"Someone is speaking well of you."
(Wait, is that a fortune? Weigh in.)

I am absolutely certain that my cousin received an actual fortune, and it was food-related, too!
"You will live a long life and eat many fortune cookies."

And lastly, another of our good friends here at Not-A-Fortune, Mr. Fabulous, shared this gem about what happens when a buffet runs out of fortune cookies:



Friday, August 6, 2010

Los Angeles: Another Failed Attempt at Vacation Fortune Cookie-Hunting

That's right, readers: my recent trip to L.A. did not result in a fortune cookie, though not for lack of trying. Multiple Chinese restaurants were suggested, discussed, evaluated, discarded, and one was finally selected: RockSugar.

Water Wall at RockSugar - our tour guide requested that we be seated close to this


A "pan Asian kitchen" located in Century City, I visited RockSugar with my traveling companion AwesomeFromAmherst, our L.A. tour guide, and his hot prom date. RockSugar is primarily a family-style dining affair. We ordered the following: Indian Stuffed Flatbread (mostly because it came with spicy homemade ketchup and I am nothing if not a ketchup fiend); Thai Noodles with Chicken (our tour guide's hot prom date couldn't eat this one but it turns out she wasn't missing much, as it was the least tasty of the bunch); Caramel Chicken; Claypot Beef (winner winner chicken (beef?) dinner); and Shaking Beef. It was all delicious, and though it was not accompanied by fortune cookies as our tour guide had expected it to be, I forgave him.

Catch-up post chronicling actual fortunes and not-a-fortunes coming soon...